Peace: A Second Song of Small Realization

I’ve described this experience earlier this year, but felt a need to put it into a less intellectual, more heart/poetic style, so….

“Meditating,” after a fashion

Trying to relax with whatever arises,

To not change it, improve it, dismiss it as not good enough.

To “do” nothing.

The meditation guide reminds us,

“The search is over, nothing to find, nothing to do….”

Suddenly sadness, great sadness….

Tears.

I’m always doing, seventy four years of always doing,

Always trying, always wanting to do the right thing,

To discover the right thing to do

And do it…..

I’m so tired……

A few seconds of great sadness

It’s gone

Tears dry up.

Of course it’s been fine that I’ve always been trying

To do the right thing.

And to continue.

But down under, such tiredness…..

Sort of forget about it, get on with life,

But the knowledge is there, somewhere.

Two weeks later, meditation retreat.

No conscious memory of the tiredness, sadness.

I’m practicing meditating on Impermanence,

The flow, the changing, the morphing of

One thing into another into another into another….

Suddenly I’m at peace.

My talking mind want to call it Peace,

It’s so much deeper than anything I’ve known,

But no need, that’s gilding the lily,

It’s just peace.

No big deal, nothing to do about it or with it.

I’m just at peace.

The air is pleasantly warm,

The sun touches my skin.

Nearby some men are trimming a tree

With a chain saw.

Noisy, that’s the nature of chain saws.

No matter, the world is fine.

Talking mind isn’t used to being so quiet,

So once in a while it asks,

“Is this rigpa?”

“Is this resting in the nature of mind?”

Well maybe sort of

Maybe not.

My words don’t matter.

Thoughts like this occasionally come,

Say their thing

And fade away.

No big deal,

I’m at peace.

Five minutes, ten minutes, half an hour.

It just naturally lasts.

No effort to hold on to it.

Peace finally fades into the background,

That’s all right.

Back to meditating on flow, change, impermanence,

Back to  life.

It doesn’t matter that almost all the time

I’m trying to find the right thing, do the right thing.

That’s good.

Peace is good.

It happens a few times in a few days,

And goes.

I’d like it to happen once in a while,

But no need, no drive to push for it.

Life is good.

2 comments

  1. Dr Tart,

    During my CAP this morning I was distracted from my breathing (don’t worry, I got back to it) because I felt a strong sense of indebtedness to you for the Mindfulness101 series at IONS. Being a long sufferer of depression (and other issues), your mindfulness audio series has helped me get closer to being in control and in touch with my life.

    I wanted to express my gratitude in some tangible way. So thank you. Your calm and open attitude with warm light mirth is the only way I can meditate comfortably.

    Sincerely,
    Adam.

  2. mind connect

    flows

    the

    do the right thing

    and yet
    social consciousness
    impinges

    upon my
    knower

    student and teacher
    rather guide
    am
    I

    hello to you

    and kindred
    spirit

    walks with
    wisdom

    thank you.

    Life is
    good
    is

    what is?

    Nature
    is harmonious,
    graceful,
    connected,
    interactively
    flowing

    Humans in social
    systems

    breaking
    natures laws

    humans using other humans
    dishonesty
    Age of
    Anxiety

    Life is good

    my heart knows that

    spirit that I am
    living in physical
    dimension

    knows

    I am at peace

    And

    And

    well

    Why

    not

    If we can

    why not?

    If we can

    find a way to

    encourage SocietyCulture

    to shift to a more

    healthy

    way of existing

    why

    not?

    So I am at

    times like

    you

    tired

    and

    yet

    flows in me

    encouragement

    from deep

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